Sitting at The Pew

(A backdated entry to September/October 08)

It was couple of months back, I went to church for the evening mass. It was quite a while since I last stepped into church.


Back at that time, my heart was filled with sadness and the uneasy sensation. It was as if my heart was tearing apart into tiny slices and later smothered with salt. I sat in between my parents. It was really difficult to control my emotions back then. I was struggling to hold my tears back from rolling down my cheeks.


I sat at the pew.


I prayed to God. I questioned him why did he put me in THE test? What was wrong? What wrong did I do to deserve it? The list of questions were just playing in my mind, non-stop.


I went to church yesterday for the weekly ritual. The priest sermon’s was about Getting Ready for Christmas and the True Meaning of Christmas. He mentioned that Christmas is partly about forgiving others those who had sinned against us.

I realized that my heart wasn’t as sore as compared to few months back. In fact, I felt more comfortable sitting in church, praying and reflecting. I thought to myself when the priest mentioned those meanings. I realized in order to be happy again is to really let it go and forgive those parties who made the mistakes.

God forgave us and so we should learn to practice it too….

I pray that the day will come soon.