Waves in the Sea

Just as I thought I could forget about the past and put my 101% attention and energy into my work, my career; and just as I thought things would get better for me with my last night’s blog entry…

….I was wronged.

I was as if sailing at the rough sea. Waves were hitting against my little wooden built sampan hard. One after another….

I was concentrating, staring at my laptop screen, a message popped up. A little bird informed me that someone made a comment about me. I don’t know whether it was a good or bad thing said. It was an open answer…. Thank you, kind soul, for telling me that.

***At times, I really wished I didn’t have to know it, or known as the ‘truth’. But life is just so kind. We have to embrace and brave through any, every happenings anyhow.***

Thousand and one question marks were circling on top of my head. I suddenly felt so demoralized and unmotivated; even though I don’t know what statement was made by the person.

But then, does it matter?!

Well, if I say “No, it doesn’t bother me.” I am telling an obvious lie. Yes, it did bother me earlier today. I was really curious about it and did (and still) a self check. “Someone said you have changed.” For what I know is, I didn’t change. I am still me, except for maybe I speak less in the workplace nowadays as I am bogged down with work. Other than that, I don’t think I have changed.

So please, enlighten me if I have changed.

Hey, whatever was done or said in the office was purely business. I might have done or said something not appropriate unconsciously, but then, my intention was only to get problems solved and get things moving. Am I wrong for doing that? OR maybe I've really changed slightly - changed in order to survive in this tough world.

Maybe one would think that the way I expressed or conveyed my message across with a wrong approach; or even the method I used to get things done was not right. But, ultimately, it’s only work. I do everything for there is a reason behind.

I have to put this aside. If the person has the balls of steel, please say it to my face, but not talking behind my back or creating rumors. People who know me, will know me for who I am and how I am like.

Anyhow, mouth is on one’s face, so let it be. I can’t control what people have to say or want to say. Freedom of speech, I suppose?